Into the Darkness
by Daisy
Summary: "All my life I have been trailing down the same path. I know that it is one that leads into darkness and yet I cannot help myself. So I continue on, knowing that it is the only way." Draco Malfoy
1. Childhood

_Author_: Daisy

_Rating_: PG although some parts might be rated higher.

_Summary_: This is Draco's story. It has no clear beginning and it has not clear end. Each chapter is another part of his history. Each part details his journey through the darkness that each person holds inside.

_Disclaimer_: I hold no authority over any of J.K Rowling's books. I most definitely do not own any of the Harry Potter books.

_Author's notes_: This will (eventually) be slash. If you don't like that sort of thing perhaps it would best not to get attached to this story!

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**Into the Darkness**

**Chapter 1**

People always say that life is for living. They believe it is to party and get rich. Yet, so many people forget what they are alive for. They no longer have time to enjoy life or learn from it. Too many people think life is another opportunity to advance in social standings. It has become a tool of time. Life has become just another object for people to use, to aide them when they need it and to throw away when it becomes useless. The only real goal these people have is to be remembered when they die. To be remembered many years to come. They figure the higher on the social scale they are; the more they will be remembered. Therefore, life is their tool.

Although I was like them at one point my life has taken many different turns that have changed my opinions. An example of this would be to say that my only goal in life is to remain unseen, unnoticed and never recognized, in the thousands of humans that stroll the same streets that I do. I have no desire to be remembered. The only way for me to be remembered is if I was discovered and if I was to be discovered, this story I feel that compelled to write down would die with me.

You might call it another goal. My only other wish is that this story is never found. This will bring up the question why write some down that you want to hide? Well, as I said before I feel compelled to write it down. This is the story about the only chance I had to fall in love. I never really got over my lover. My darling was the only person who has ever found out what I really am and I feel that if I write my story down I have a better chance at understanding what really happened.

My story is no fairytale, as you might have guessed. My life has never been easy or simple; it has always been complicated with twist and turns. I was never sure where I was going or what direction the rope of life was pulling me. I was never certain I would make it to the end. It was not that I was hungry; meals were easy to find and I have always had shelter. My life was not that of a typical homeless person and their fight for survival. For those humans I have more respect then anyone could possibly know. These people have the amazing ability to see through my façade. Although I have a lot of respect for them, now is not the time to talk about them. It is time for me to explain why my life was so hard. As in most stories, whether they are romance or adventure, I shall begin at the start of it. I shall briefly describe my childhood (for that is not the interesting part of my life) and than I shall spin my own story of romance and danger just as every other author.

My childhood seemed to be that of a typical rich kid. I guess people like to imagine that nothing sinister can happen to a child because they are so innocent. Even in the wizarding world, people like to imagine that children are not corrupted by the evil of this world. My life was full of magic and potions. It would have been perfect other than the fact that my parents hated each other. They had spent their childhood playing tricks and hurting each other. The only reason they were together was an arranged marriage.

My father was never a gentle person. He always believed that I would be the weak link in our family. My father was not a very big man but he was very good at intimating you when you stood near him. He was very talented in dark magic. Not many people realize that my father knew how to bypass the law. He had taught himself how to use a killing curse without getting caught. I guess that is why he hated me so. There was no way for him to kill me without breaking any rules. My father would yell at my mother about how he wished we would both just die, while he beat me. He hated me because I had some of my mother in me and he thought mother was a complete waste of space. She did not even measure up to what he saw as a human being.

My mother, on the other hand, was a sweet woman. She was the type of woman that would hold you when you needed to be held and yell at you when you needed to let out steam. My mother was the only reason I am alive today. She was one of the only people that ever loved me. I tell you that now with much regret, for I never did treat her with the respect she deserved. My father's approval was more important than my mother's love. I though that maybe if I treated my mother like he did, he would see me as person rather than a dog to be kicked. I wish I could have told my mother what her love meant to me. I still remember all the times she would come into my room and tuck me in without my father noticing. She was a very brave woman and I still miss her.

I was never really allowed to do the things that make childhood fun. My parents thought that life was too short to enjoy playing in the mud. My day was full of lessons in being the perfect nobleman's son. I was brought up knowing the strategies of war and could beat anyone in fencing. Of course all of this was done for the wizarding world, so the strategies all had to do with magic. Fencing was just to build up quickness in my feet.

I was raised in an environment that was built upon lies and half told truths. The air was always tense and no one knew when it might explode. The only thing that I can officially be thankful about those early years was that whenever the air actually did explode, I was never around. It always seemed to be when I was at my grandparents. Not that it was planned, it just sort of happened. I do not think my father would send me away if he knew that my mother always liked to make him tick but she was too afraid of what he would do to me so she always made the bomb go off when I was away.

By the time I was ten, I believed the world was made up of two kinds of people; the kind that did the lying and the kind that believed in the lies. The scary thing is I was very close to being right. The beatings made me grow up quick enough to realize that not everything is black and white. There are just two colours in the world, black and grey. There is no white because if there were the colour white, we would not be in the state that we are in now.

I think that it was because of this that my life took the road it did. I mean I believed at the age of 10 that people were only using each other to gain something. I guess you could say my life was doomed to fail from a very young age. I wonder why destiny is so unfair. Where one person is born in great wealth, well another is born into poverty, why is it that the one born into poverty can be happier than the one who has everything. Though, I am not Christian, I wonder why God gave special privileges to some and not to others. Were we not all supposed to be equal? I guess it's a good thing that I am not Christian I think I would be a hypocrite if I were and a lot of people would hate the new ideas that I would bring.

The only time in my young life that I thought perhaps destiny could be changed was when I received my letter from Hogwarts. I remember the day so well. It was my eleventh Birthday. The sky was overcast and the letter was the only thing I got. I remember because mother and I were just going to go out for a stroll in Hustler's Park, when one of the house elves came and told my mother that there was a letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I could hardly contain my excitement. My mother being the woman she was made me wait until after dinner before I was allowed to open the letter. Of course that only made the day more exciting.

I was surprised to see that the letter had been addressed to me personally. Not many people dared to contact me. They usually went through my parents first. I was happy to see my name on the front of the letter. My parent's response to the letter was nothing that I had expected. They seemed pleased! In fact I think that was the only time that my father ever looked at me with something like pride. I think that it was also this letter that changed something inside of me. I mean of course I had always looked for a way to impress my father but I thought that this letter was the way to do it. I don't think I realized at that time that my father was using me.

That was the last year that my parents did not celebrate my Birthday. Every year after that, my parents hosted the largest party of the year and everyone who was anyone would be there. It was all a big show for them. Or at least it was for my father. My Birthday was something that I dread from that day on.

Things were definitely looking up or so I thought. I believed that once I reached Hogwarts, all of my problems would disappear and I would get the chance to make something of myself. I thought all of my dreams and hopes where laid down before me with this letter. I must have been naïve to believe that. Nothing comes without hard work and determination. My father can be glad that he taught me that. My understanding of the world would change once I got to Hogwarts. Instead of all of problems disappearing there would be other problems and I would learn that just because you do not see the problem any more that does not make it gone.

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Thank-you so much for reading this. Could you please tell me what you thought? I would also like to take the time to thank my wonderful beta readers. They are the most amazing people in the world. I love you all! Daisy 


	2. Growing up

Author: Daisy

Rating: PG although some parts might be rated higher.

Summary: This is Draco's story. It has no clear beginning and it has not clear end. Each chapter is another part of his history. Each part details his journey through the darkness that each person holds inside.

Disclaimer: I hold no authority over any of J.K Rowling's books. I most definitely do not own any of the Harry Potter books.

Author's notes: This will (eventually) be slash. If you don't like that sort of thing perhaps it would best not to get attached to this story!

**Into The Darkness**

**Chapter 2**

People often view the world as a place to make fairyland come to life. They believe that one day, the knight in shining armour or the prince charming will come and rescue them. The world loves to believe that each life ends in a fairytale 'happily ever after' ending. How can anything end happily when there is death at the end of each path and sorrow down each road? Both come to all, whether or not people are willing to except it is another matter. What really is important is that you learn to deal with it. There are no happy conclusions. Humans were not created to enjoy life. If they were, they sure don't seem to regard this with adequate care. Therefore, the world turns to a whole new and different belief. Families hope that one day everything will work out for them. The truth of the matter is life can not be a fairy tale for it is too cruel to its residents.

After saying all that, it is going to be rather difficult to explain my life at Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft. This section of my life will take more time. It one of the more important factors in the later years, as it explains why I did what I did. I am not saying that I hated my time at Hogwarts: no it is quite the contrary. The first six years at Hogwarts were quite pleasant. The last year was… well, different.

It began on the first train ride to the school. I finally met other kids who could relate to me. They were not being forced to play with me or be nice. In the crowd of people surrounding the train station, one person stuck out. His name was Harry Potter. I guess it was his famous scar that caught my attention. I do not mean to say that he was cute because he was not. He was almost as pale as I was and I take great pride in being very pale. Harry Potter was all skin and bones. He really was not much to look at back then. Somehow, he managed to snag my attention though. After that, I could never really let go of him. Oh sure, I can say hated him, but in reality I was just like the rest, I wanted him. I do not take delight in that childish gesture but I learned from my mistakes.

I am sorry to say that although he snagged my attention, I did not appeal to him. The meeting I had planned did not complete its predestined path. Everything seemed to go down hill from there. To be blunt, it was a complete disaster. Everything I planned to say became stuck in my throat and everything I hated came out. One of the Weasley kids had beat me to him first. From our first meeting, I established a name for myself. It was not the name I was looking for. To the school, I became known as Draco Malfoy, most hated enemy of Harry Potter. Yes enemy! I guess no one remembered to ask me what I thought. From then on I was forced to play the part because no one would believe me otherwise.

I did make some good out of this bad luck. For that year and the next four years, I tormented him and his friends. I did everything to make him hate me. In that first encounter with Harry, I realized my father's plans. He was going to use anybody who was near to Potter to hurt the poor boy. I am not usually one for sympathy but somehow that seemed to take it too far. I could not make myself destroy the wizarding world's one chance at surviving. Therefore, I made the famous Boy-Who-Lived hate me for all he was worth. I doubt anyone ever caught on to my plan. I think Dumbledore, the headmaster at that time, suspected something but he never figured it out.

Unfortunately, I was such a good actor; even I began to believe I hated Harry. I had learned from my parents since I could first walk and talk. If I could convince myself that I hated the Boy-Who-Lived, no one would ever be able to figure it out. I think there is just one person in my entire life that could tell when I was lying and that person is dead now. I will explain this person later but for now just thinking of a helping spirit in place of 'my clairvoyant'. I guess that means no one will ever know my secret.

Harry risked his life year after year and I was forced to stand in the background and watch. Without admitting it to myself I worried and I cringed whenever he left. I would never admit that I was glad to see him but I slept better knowing that he was still there to save me when I finally let myself be saved. I think part of me recognized that he was the only one who could save me from myself. I got caught up in the whole saviour thing and thought the gods hated me but my opinion has hardly counted for anything.

After fifth year, I began to notice how everyone seemed to look to me for guidance. I do not mean all of Hogwarts, I mean my housemates. They were following my lead. If I hated one individual they did too. I let the power go to my head. I began to become the selfish brat I never wanted to be. I tormented all those weaker than me and worshipped all who were stronger and I looked forward to the day where all of the world would look up to me. I thought I could guide those fools. The one thing I forgot was that I too was a fool and I needed to be led just as much as the next one. In fact now that I look back on it I can see that I needed to be led more then anyone. The problem with that was that I was the leader and I had no idea how to lead, which meant that other powers saw me as perfect. I guess I mean perfect in the sense that they could manipulate me and if something were to go wrong well, I know who everyone else points fingers at.

Then, near the end of the fifth year I decided it was time to stop acting like a spoiled rich kid and act like the man I was suppose to resemble. Since my parents had raised me the fashion they had, I thought the only way to do that was to gain power. So I went down into my basement where there were shields to protect me from the rules of the outside world and I spent the entire summer learning anything I could get my hands on. It was not hard to learn because my father was so proud that I had come around to his way of thinking that he got me all the materials need to start my descent into the darker world. I am not sure how I came to understand the world once I finished learning out of books, but I came to the one conclusion that power, indeed, was the only was to succeed.

By the end of that summer, I knew everything that the school could teach me. The only reason I went back was Harry. That, of course was not what I told my dad and I am sure that was not the reason I told myself either. I told him that I could spy for him and that I could get information on Dumbledore. I guess I did not really lie, there were many things that I could tell him about the headmaster and how the school was set up. All of this would make my father proud I was sure.

Now I could have had that bookworm mud blood beaten in my sleep, and I could spy in my free time without any problems. I was ready to go back to school. Before I left, my father, being an especially conniving Death eater, suggested that I keep my talents hidden. It was good advice for which I am greatly thankful. I cannot imagine what would have happened had I not heeded his advice. I am sure that my life would have taken a different path that would have wound up somewhere else. Which probably would not necessary have been bad thing.

I spent the last week working on keeping myself hidden. It was important that I learned how to hide everything. No one could know that I knew all the magic they could teach us at school. Magic is funny that way; there are ways that it can be tracked and the teachers would probably be looking for anything, now that Voldemort was back… So I practised hiding my magic signature. It was the only way that I would be able to last through the year and not get caught. My father had expressed the need to find out what Dumbledore had planned for the war which coming and I was not going to have him give up on me.

As the week came to an end, I knew it was time to see how well my father had taught me. I packed all of my things that I would need for school that year and waited for my mother to take me to the station like she always did.

Thanks again for reading this. I would love to hear what you thought if you have a moment, even if it is just to say 'good' or 'bad'. Oh, and thanks to my wonderful, wonderful beta readers, you guys are amazing. Lastly, thanks to everyone who has already reviewed this I LOVE YOU!


	3. Christmas

Author: Daisy

Rating: PG although some parts might be rated higher.

Summary: This is Draco's story. It has no clear beginning and it has not clear end. Each chapter is another part of his history. Each part details his journey through the darkness that each person holds inside.

Disclaimer: I hold no authority over any of J.K Rowling's books. I most definitely do not own any of the Harry Potter books.

Author's notes: This will (eventually) be slash. If you don't like that sort of thing perhaps it would best not to get attached to this story!

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**Into the Darkness**

**By: Daisy**

People often find themselves looking for something to hold in their lives. It seems like the world turns too fast for them to grasp what they have just seen. It is like putting a movie in fast forward and sitting back to watch it, but just as you reach the couch, the movie comes to an end and you hear the click of the tape. You could rewind as many times as you want but as long as the movie is in fast forward you would never see any of it. Life is a bit like that too. You turn around to reach for your goal but just as you grasp it, the VCR/DVD player goes click and you realize you have spent your whole life going after that one goal. No one ever gets the chance to get comfortable because that would mean that the world has come to a stop, which would in turn, end all human life. It is a sad reality and one that everyone is forced to live with. No human will ever find that something to hold because there is no something and no one has time to figure that out.

I guess that is the point of human life. It is not the treasure at the end; it is the journey there. My sixth year at Hogwarts was much like that journey. It was in sixth year that my world began to spin faster then I could comprehend. When that occurs, many times it leads to bad decisions. I will be the first to admit that haste makes for errors and that year I created more problems then humanly possible.

Like all Malfoys, I was addicted to power. I lived in a family where power was the only way to gain dignity and respect. I craved respect and dignity but to get what I wanted, I had to have power. Oh scaring first and second years was great fun and almost always boosted my ego but I wanted real power; the kind where you have control over everything, the kind of power that people hate and fear. It was a stupid thing to want and wish for because as the proverb goes 'be careful what you wish for, you might just receive it'.

I was still upset that dear old daddy was in prison from when Potter had placed him there in fifth year. Not because I missed him or anything like that but because it meant that my mother was all alone with me and I think I fear her more then my father. She was the one that I never knew what she was thinking or she was going to do next. It was that, that scared me. I did not understand then, that she loved me and was just trying to protect me from my father's abusive ways.

Stupid Potter thought that he knew it all. Well obviously he was not thinking clearly because humanity hates to be surprised. By saying father was a death-eater, Potter gained more enemies. I guess that was partly my doing. Mother and I played victims all summer long. I still do not understand why mother would want to be a victim. I mean I knew she hated father and yet she still pretended that she missed father. Maybe she thought I would listen to her if I thought she was on the same side. I will never know now though.

When I arrived at the station, everyone looked at me with pity, or what I perceived as pity. The only other thing I saw when I arrived was the devastation that Lord Voldemort had created. There were no more skipping, dancing, happy children. All that was left were tired worn parents dragging their crying children behind them. Being the big git I was, I caught myself smirking. Things were going to be different now. I quickly schooled my features back into a somewhat depressed look; I still had to play victim.

It wasn't long before I had the entire Slytherins ready to kill Potter. It was not hard to get all of the Slytherins to hate Potter for what he did to me. I was royalty among them and Potter and his gang had put many of these kids' parents in a dangerous position. All this led to what I hoped would be Potter's worst nightmare. I was soon letting all of my fury go.

We played all sorts of tricks on Harry and his friends. The one that sticks out the most is where all of the Slytherins made it look like the carriages that take us to Hogwarts were full. The Golden Trio did not seem to think it was all that funny to walk. The Slytherins and I had so much fun poking fun at them, at least until I (we) was caught. I was forced into a week with that witch of a woman, McGonagall. It turned out that my small prank had caused most of the staff to go into frenzy over what could have happened. I pretended that it I had forgotten about why everyone was watching him. The act was not played out to perfection, but it really did not matter, everyone knew I would give anything to get rid of him.

I enjoyed dear old Potter's face whenever he saw me. White is supposed to be the colour of purity and peace. Well Harry, being Harry, changed the rules. His face was white with rage. I don't really understand what's wrong with a little bit of exercise, but I guess four hours is a little long. It was a constant reminder of the power that I held over him. I loved making Harry go pop. It was one of my favorite games, well, that and scaring Neville with horror stories about Snape.

I guess that's why everyone figured I would end up dead at Harry's feet. He hated me more then anything. I am sure that if he had no pride and no common sense I would have been dead in a matter of seconds. I guess that does not really matter though, see as I made it through his rage and I am still alive and doing fine, well as fine as I can be.

I was lucky that both of his friends were loyal to him otherwise I am sure I would have ended up in the hospital wing more then the few times that I did. I am sure that it would have been for something worse then black eye and purple fingers. Harry never did grow out of his awful colour sense but I am getting ahead of myself. Memories tend to do that though. They tend to bring you to places that you did not really think about before. I wonder why these memories haunt me in the way that they do. I wonder if maybe I feel guilty for the things that happened to me that year. I guess I should tell the rest of my story before I get ahead of myself.

As I said it was in sixth year that I really noticed the difference in the world. To be precise, it was near Christmas when I came to realize just where I belonged in the upcoming war. Most kids had gone home for Christmas. I think it is because everyone knew that the war was coming. I am sure some figured that this would be the last Christmas they would be together as a family.

My family hated Christmas. Or more that my father hated Christmas and the rest of us just agreed with him. We all figured it was pointless but that was not something that one goes telling others. We acted like any normal family. We decorated everything and made a big deal out of such a dull holiday. We did it every single year, except that year. Part of the reason was that my father was still in prison and part of the reason was that my father had somehow managed to get word to my mother that he thought this would be a good lesson for me. For some reason, my mother agreed with him. They figured that if I stayed at school, I would listen to them when I went home in the summer. I think it is more the fact that father was in prison and I really did not want to stay near my mother. Her whole loving me act just scared me.

Even though I did not go home, mother decided to write me every day that I was away. It was very embarrassing to receive her letters at the time but now those letters are the only thing that keeps me sane at night.

It was later, once everyone who was going home for the holiday had left, that I figured I should find out who were to be my roommates for the festive season. Dumbledore had decided that since most of the kids had left, the rest of us would be bunked all together. We were all given a bed in the Room of Requirements. Some how though Dumbledore had made it so that the room would not change once he had set it. It was not so bad, the girls were given half the room, and us guys were given the other half. Everyone fit but it was snug.

I started to look around to see who had been left behind. There were not many people around my age. I soon realized that I was the only sixth year there, or at least I would have been if Potter had not shown up. Unfortunately, for both of us, the only bunk left was the right beside me. Lucky us.

"This is going to be the worst Christmas ever." is what he said as he threw all his stuff unto the bed.

"What? You think I am going to have fun with you here?" I replied. It made me so mad that just because my parents thought that this was going to teach me some sort of lesson I would have to sleep beside him. I agreed. This was going to be awful. It was the first Christmas I had spent alone and even that thought did not cheer me.

Some how we both managed to get through the next couple of days. We made it up to Christmas Eve without arguing too much and then something made us both go pop. I do not even remember what exactly what happened. All I remember is that he made me so angry that I punched him. I remember watching him fall and realizing that I would be in so much trouble if someone caught me, and so I fled the scene. I ran and ran. I went out through the front doors. I had no idea where I was running to and what I was going to do next, all I knew was that I could not be found. When I saw the Forbidden Forest, I knew that was the perfect spot.

I have never made a worst decision then that. When I went in to that forest, I did not realize that there are worst things then death. I guess I had reason to fear it for all of those other years. I will never know what force drove me to think that the Forbidden Forest would be better then a month's detention. All I know is that when I woke up the next morning I was different.

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Thank you soooooooooooo much to all of you who have given me feed back. I really hope you are enjoying where this is going. Well until next time. Love you Mucho 


	4. Unexpected outcome

Author: Daisy

Rating: PG although some parts might be rated higher.

Summary: This is Draco's story. It has no clear beginning and it has not clear end. Each chapter is another part of his history. Each part details his journey through the darkness that each person holds inside.

Disclaimer: I hold no authority over any of J.K Rowling's books. I most definitely do not own any of the Harry Potter books.

Author's notes: This will (eventually) be slash. If you don't like that sort of thing perhaps it would best not to get attached to this story!

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**Into the Darkness**

**By: Daisy**

People see their lives as something that belongs to them. They think that it's their right to decide when important dates should be and when certain events are going to take place. What they don't realize is that, in reality, they have absolutely no power over their lives. They can not stop the inevitable. They can not avoid feeling emotions or getting attached to others and they sure as hell can not avoid death. It's something that happens, yet each and every time death comes to the door, each and every human looks so surprised that death would actually visit. It's not like they actually have a say in when and where events take place. How can humans think that their lives are theirs? Life has been predetermined for these pawns. What would they do differently if they did control everything? Power corrupts.

I would never have thought any of that before my incident in the Forbidden Forest. As I said before, that night changed me and with those changes came new ideas. I guess I am getting ahead of myself though.

I don't really remember exactly what happened that night. It became a blur once I reached the forest. So I shall give you the version of my story that was told to me by Dumbledore. I am sure the story is incomplete as Dumbledore only tells what one _needs_ to know, but it is the only thing I have and there are no holes that I can spot. I figure it must be pretty close to the truth anyway.

It seems that after I left Harry, he recovered from the injury that I had given him. Instead of running to the teachers like a good boy, Harry decided to get his own revenge. Dumbledore did not seem too pleased with Harry when he told this part but that is beside the point. Harry had watched me exit the school and he had seen me enter the Forbidden Forest. For some odd reason he figured he should go after me. This part was weird because the forest would have been better revenge then anything else. He knew how much I hated that place so I do not understand why he came after me. Perhaps it was his hero complexion that forced him to come after his rival or perhaps it was because he wanted to be the one who brought me down. I can only speculate reasons.

I guess it's a good thing he did. It seemed I was popular among the creatures in that deadly place. My blood was like gold among those who lived in blackness. When I entered that place, many different beings attacked me. I must have tripped somehow while trying to fight them all off. I was knocked unconscious. After I fell into the sweet abyss, Harry arrived. He was just in time to watch as the very nightmares from children's dreams came out to play with what was left of me. Potter had the best seats in the house to watch as I was slowly drained of my blood.

Somehow Harry regained his sense in time to realize that I would die if they continued to suck my blood. Wonder boy being himself somehow saved me. No one is sure how he did it because he never told anyone. He had some how managed to save my life and keep his own in the process. Nothing is ever without a cost though and as I watched Dumbledore explain all this to me, I knew he was keeping something from me. How I knew was a mystery to me but I had to find out just what he was keeping.

I had always been brought up that the elders were to be respected and so I asked as politely as I dared. His only answer was 'Look in the mirror' and with that he left me to ponder what that could mean.

It was later that I actually got up the courage to look. Since I had been knocked out cold, I was laying in the Hospital room when Dumbledore had come in. The only mirror was on the other side of the room. I had just lost more then half my blood to those beasts of the night and I was still very weak. I could hardly move as it was, but I wanted to know what cost I had paid to stay alive. 'Yes that's it. Be brave and take the strength you have left in you' I said to myself. I took that mirror and I looked in it.

I let out a shrill high-pitched girly scream. My head of house came running into my room. "So I see you have found out just what happened" He murmured in a drawl. I turned to look at him in surprise.

"What?" I screamed because I can't see my hair. My hair must look a mess. Oh God, What am I going to do about my hair? If can't see it, how am I going to live? People look up to me to see how I do my hair. Who will they look up to now? I mean no one has hair like mine? Professor, do you have a comb and some hairspray and maybe some conditioner?" I looked at Snape expecting him to give me what I wanted. He always had before, now should be no different! He looked relatively surprised and I wonder just what I was supposed to have found in the mirror and then it hit me. I had no reflection. My head started to spin as I realized what I was missing. I could not see myself. That thought went around and around. What could have possibly happened to me?

"Who did it?" I asked as I thought about what kind of potion would make me invisible. I sure hoped it was curable. Not being able to look in the mirror was hell for me. It would have to have been Potter. He was the only one who would do something that cruel.

"Well your sire would be the likely candidate," he replied. Apparently we were not thinking along the same lines.

"What?" I was now officially confused. The only thing that had a sire was a vampire, a horse, and maybe a werewolf. What was Snape talking about? ' Hmm… maybe Harry had put a spell on me when he 'rescued' me from the forest? Wait the forest, vampires, and werewolves. Oh God! I quickly checked my teeth. No fangs or anything! Good! Phew I though for sure I was dead. Ha dead!'

Snape just smirked at my 'display'. Suddenly I felt very hungry. I had never felt this way before. It was like the hunger was eating at me, controlling me. I looked around the room for something to munch on. Nothing really stood out as munchable. Then I saw the perfect snack. It was just sitting there like it was waiting for me to bite into it and suck the blood out of it.

Wait blood? What the hell was I thinking? I tried to sit back down, I really did but that hunger kept gnawing on me and I finally let myself go. I was rewarded with such sensations as I have never felt. I would stay here and eat to my hearts content.

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Thank you so much for reading until this point. I hope you will continue one. Much love until next time! 


	5. No longer human

**Author:** Daisy

**Rating**: PG although some parts might be rated higher.

**Summary**: This is Draco's story. It has no clear beginning and it has not clear end. Each chapter is another part of his history. Each part details his journey through the darkness that each person holds inside.

**Disclaimer**: I hold no authority over any of J.K Rowling's books. I most definitely do not own any of the Harry Potter books.

**Author's notes**: This will (eventually) be slash. If you don't like that sort of thing perhaps it would best not to get attached to this story! Also I would just like to thank everyone who was reviewed so far. You guys are awsome!

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**Into the Darkness**

**Chapter 5**

All creatures belong to a class. Rich or poor, powerful or weak, popular or less noticed, all creatures feel the need to belong. When one does not fit in, one does not feel complete. Half a human life is searching for that one spot where everything just feels right. The most amazing feeling is when you feel as though you have found 'home'. It is then that you see the world in a light, which, you never figured was possible. It is then that all old problems seem simple. It may be that one does not find their class until they can no longer stand to be alone or, it may be that they do not find acceptance as they find a feeling of contentment. There are many ways in which a person may find their 'home' but all of which take time and as life goes on humans tend to get desperate. Eventually, though 'home' does come and it is then that one feels happy.

Snape smirked as he watched me down the blood within seconds. He showed me where more was kept and I drank to my hearts content. I really did not want to think about what I was doing. It was not natural for a human to want blood. I was not about to think about what else that could mean. There was no way I was anything but human.

So I sat there drinking away a tube of blood. It was almost as good as any liquor I had ever experienced. Once I had enough I sat down at the end of the bed and waited for my professor to tell me what had happened to my body. I looked at him expectantly. My father and he had always seen eye to eye and he was the only person that I looked up to, well, other then my father.

I think he was rather impatient with me. I could see from the slight twitch in his eye that my arrogant way of dealing with everything that had just occurred was annoying past anything I had ever accomplished before. So I continued to sit. The best way to find out what you want is to wait for it.

"Do you have a napkin?" I asked politely "I seemed to have dripped."

His dark eyes widened in surprise. Whatever he thought I was going to say had obviously not been that. His response, in kind, was not what I was expecting "No sorry I seemed to be out of them right now!" This was delivered with a sarcastic undertone, which one could only pick up if one was looking for it. We continued to sit there, waiting for the other person to be the first to break the silence. I could smell the irritation on him. I knew I could out last him. I did not understand how I knew but I knew that he would be the first. Finally I could see that he was done with the silence.

"You may have found that your body has changed quite a bit since the last time you checked. The reason is simple; you are no longer human." He paused over the last part. I tried to understand what he meant.

"No longer human? As in...?" I looked at him questioningly. I tried to absorb the fact that I was no longer human. I failed miserably. It would like if someone was to say that my family was no longer Malfoy. It was just not possible. I decided to humour my poor professor. "Like I am some sort of beast. Wait am I a fairy? I could fly in circles around that annoying brat Potter. Oh tell me I am a fairy!" I smirked at my professor.

"DRACO! This is no laughing matter. Potter watched as one of those vile beasts you learned about in Defence Against the Dark Arts, ripped out your throat. You are lucky that Potter paid attention in class. Some how, he figured out a way to get you away from that creature without you dying on us. Do you understand what I am saying? Potter watch as a vampire ripped out your throat. He somehow got the beast off you. Draco you were going to die so he somehow changed you into a vampire. It is not supposed to be possible but Potter has always had some luck with the impossible. Draco, you owe him. He saved you." As Snape went on his voice slowly dropped in volume.

I stared at him with disbelief. Things slowly began to fit together. I drank blood, I could smell emotions on humans, and I could hear things that normal people would not be able to hear. "No, you're lying. There is no way I can be a ...a ...a vampire. NO! YOU'RE LYING" I yelled at him. He gave me a sad smile and I knew he was not." NO...no what am I going to do? I can't stay here. Potter will tell everyone and ... and... I will never again be safe. Please Professor! Help me!" I begged him. There was nothing more humiliating then begging but I was not thinking all that clearly. I could not get over the fact that I was a vampire.

"You needn't worry about that. Your mother is coming. She should be here in a couple of hours. She has been informed of your condition. In fact that is why I am here; I came to tell you that you must start getting ready. Professor Dumbledore is letting you go home to 'recover'" He put a slight empathizes on the word recover. There was nothing to recover from. I was being sent home to learn to control my newfound abilities. "Potter has been sworn to secrecy. I do not think he would be very eager to describe how your throat was ripped out by something that is not accepted in the wizarding world. I do believe you are safe from Potter."

I stared at the Professor. It was almost as though he had grown a second head. When had he changed his attitude towards Potter? I wonder if it was because Harry had risked his life to save my life or maybe it was because Snape was keeping something from me. Oh well! It was not important. What was important that I got ready to see my mother.

Snape got up to leave; he did not look at me as he left. I wondered if it was because he knew he was leaving me my mother, who was likely to devour me the instant she saw me with hugs and kisses. I wonder now if he left without looking back because if he did he would try to save me himself.

I tried to think of what I would to tell my mother when she arrived. I wondered how much she already knew. I wondered what her reaction would be. I shook my head. I really did not want to think about anything that had to do with my new predicament. I just wanted to curl up on my bed and die. Funny, I was already dead and I could not find any comfort in it. I tried not to think about how I was going to live from then on. There was never a moment in my life as then that I felt so helpless. Then I felt a presence just behind the door and it calmed me. I wondered what it was that calmed and was about to get up and check it out when the presence that I felt slowly drifted away.

My fears slowly resurfaced. I could not stay here where everyone would soon know what I was. I had to flee before my mother could see me. She would just make me weak and I could no afford be weak. I had to be strong so that I would survive. I was going to live. The thought hit me. I had to live. I had to show them all that I now held the power to live without fear and Icould do what I wanted. No one could control me now. I would show my father. I would show Potter. I would show the world what happens when a Malfoy gains the power to take over the world.

I grabbed everything I would need my wand, a cape and some floo powder. I ran to the door and hoped beyond hope that Snape had left the door unlocked. I reached the door knob just as I felt my mother's and Dumbledore's presence. It did not register that I could feel their presence. I was too absorbed in what I was doing. I would have to hurry if I was to escape. I ran for the door. I ignored that as I tried to pull the door doorknob open but it would not move. I stared at daring it to blast open.

'_Think very hard about what you want to happen_'. My concentration increased and I focused solely on blasting the door open. I watched in sheer fascination as the door obeyed my command. I felt the power flow through me as I have never before. I stood amazed. '_Now is not the time for that. You must run Draco. There is not much time._' I listened to the voice and quickly ran out of the room. I turned in the opposite direction from where I could feel Dumbledore and my mother's aura. I tried to formulate a plan but all I could come up with was to get out of Hogwarts as fast as I could. With that in mind my legs seemed to go twice as fast.

Behind me I could hear Dumbledore running after me with my mother on his heels. It never occurred to me to question how I could. I guess I just automatically assumed it was my new powers that gave me the power to do what ever I could not have done before. I took off hoping beyond hope that I could reach the out side doors before the two of them thought about using magic to stop me.

I turned left then right and then left again. I did not know where I was. I was letting my instincts guide me. I was no longer thinking in coherent thoughts. In fact the only thought that drifted through my head was I must get out of here. '_When you reach the next turn, go straight. It may look like a wall but it is the fastest way out of here._' I thought to myself, not bothering to question how I knew. So when I saw the wall I did not bother to slow down, knowing that if I did, I would not have the courage to go through.

Much like the wall at platform 9 and 3/4 I went through the wall instead of into it. I was very surprised when I got outside. '_Good-Luck_' was the only thing I could say. I had gotten outside now but what was I to do now?

I pondered this question for a couple of minutes, and then decided that I should find someone who would help me. I admit that my next decision was the worse mistake I could have ever made. I decided that my father was my only option. I believed him to be strong and all knowing. I was naive enough to believe he would see me as his son and would help me. I guess that is what most people expect out of their fathers. I should have known that my father was not like the nice, kind, loving fathers that you see in movies. I had seen enough evidence form his behaviour toward both my mother and myself. All the same, I used my new found running abilities to bring me to the gates of Azkaban in record time.

I tried to think of a way to get through the gates without being conspicuous. My first though was to go through the wall mush like I had at Hogwarts. So thinking there was nothing I could not do, I ploughed right into the walls. I am sure that if Dementors could feel anything they would feel amused at my inability to walk through walls. I cannot say I was amused. It hurt and I still have a scar on my right shoulder from where a nail was sticking out.

I decided to rethink my plan of action. I sat down on a rock near me and rethought everything over. I think it then that everything really clicked. I was vampire. I sucked people's blood. I believed I was now completely evil. I did not feel any different though. I had always thought that a villain or a hero, a monster or an angel, always felt different from a human but now that I was no longer human, it did not seem to make a difference. I was still me and I still felt the same way I always had. I took a pledge then, that I would never show other people that I had still retained some humanity. I would never let anyone scare me or love me or order me to do anything. I would pretend that I was fearless and emotionless.

Sitting outside Azkaban, I built up a mask for myself. I made sure to hide everything that was once Draco Malfoy. I was now my own fake person. This person was the one I would use to get into Azkaban and past all of the Dementors. If I had no fear, there was no way fear could scare me. So I stood up and entered through the front doors of Azkaban. I walked straight up to the first Dementor I saw and demanded to see my father. I was not really sure the Dementor had heard me but I walked right on by it. It was my first sign that my mask was working but I was not thinking about that. My only thought was that I had to get my father out of here. He was the only one who could help me with what I wanted to do.

I began searching the cells. I could not find him though. I tried this way and that. Then I got the bright idea to ask the prisoners if they knew. So I stopped at the next cell I came to. The person inside was a pathetic looking muck. I could not even tell if it was a female or a male. I decide that to get what I wanted I would have to use one of my father's tricks.

"Excuse me?" I said in my most adult voice. "Excuse me but if you could tell me where my father is I would be most thankful.

The thing inside looked at me and started to laugh. "Yeah, boy well I would like to know where my father is too but seeing as he's dead in that cell over there..." He, at least I believed it to be a he from the sound of his voice, pointed across the hall to where I could see a corpse rotting. Suddenly my heightened sense caught the smell of the corpse and I almost vomited before I reminded myself of the pledge. I wrinkled my nose and turned back to the only person who might be able to help me. "Ha, I can see your disgust. Why are you here boy? Did you come to taunt those of us who still have our mind intact?" He spat at me. I was slowly losing my patience. His constant 'boy' thing was driving me up the wall. I could not stand being called a boy.

"If you could just tell me where Lucius Malfoy is, I will leave you to your lonely cell and be on my way" I tried to say that calmly and surely but it came out more like a growl then anything.

"So then you're a Malfoy. Figures, you have the arrogance and that proud chin. Well sorry boy but it's time for my nap. Maybe if your here when I wake up I will help you." That was it I lost it. I don't remember exactly what happened next. I know that I just let my new instincts lead me to where I knew I wanted to be. Somehow I made his body come to me. He was stuck against the bars of the cell. I could tell from the look in his eyes he was afraid. This was the first time I had ever seen that kind of fear in someone. He was so afraid that I knew he would do whatever I wanted.

"What is your name?" I asked casually. He stared with fear in his eyes. I knew that if I reached out and stroked his chin he would answer whatever question I wanted. I reached out and glided my hand across his rough almost scaly chin. It sent shivers down his back. At that point I felt power that I had never know to exist inside start to grow. "Answer me." I said in a quite voice.

"La Laur...Lawrence sir" He said in a shaky voice. I released my power over him and he fell to the ground clutching his arms close to him. He looked up at me then. "What are you?" His eyes were full of fear and awe. I felt as though I had died and gone to heaven.

Instead of answering him I asked my own question. "Where is my father?" I stared at him unblinking. I watched as he shivered yet again. "I haven't all day." The fear within his eyes grew.

" Jus...Just do...down th-the hall." He whimpered. I nodded. Then I realized that if I took him with me he would be a perfect follower '_and if he really annoys you, you can always eat him.' _That thought disgusted me and I fought the urge to vomit as a mental image conjured in my head.

"If I were to free you, would you lead me to his cell?" I already knew the answer. This man had no choice but to do as I said.

"Of...Of course sir." It almost sounded as though he had the hiccups. It was starting to annoy me but I would let it slid for now until I got what I wanted. I thought about what it was I wanted to do now. I thought about how I wanted this guide out of his cage and I knew instantly how to do it. I threw out my hand and spoke the incantation that would release the man. The doors of his cell flew off and the man jumped as he saw what I had done.

"Come on! I don't have all night" I expressed my displeasure and he jumped to do as I said. He sort of bowed towards me as he passed. I guess he thought I was saving him. Some humans don't use the brains they are given.

I followed him as he led me to my father. I smirked at his back as I though about what I was going to do to him to show him I was no boy. Then I realized just what I was thinking and my smirk was gone instantly. I could not believe that I had even thought of that. I almost walked right into him when he suddenly stopped in terror. I looked up to see what he was so afraid of. There in front of us were two Dementors. I guess I had set off the alarm. I glared at them. They were going to wreck my plans. I wanted them gone. I wanted them to burn and disappear. If they wrecked my plans, I was not sure if there would be anything left for the investigation that was sure to happen. With that they suddenly did blow up. It was like just because I thought it could happen it did.

Lawrence stared at me in complete amazement. I tried not to show that I too was awed by my own powers. "Well lead on." I said in a calm voice. I was surprised to see that my mask held up even through perilous times. And so he led on. Just when I thought the hall way would never end he stopped and pointed toward one of the cells. I stepped up to the cell and peaked inside. I say peaked because I was afraid that he might look mush like the corpse I had seen earlier. But there was my father in all his glory. His hair was still perfectly in place and his eye still held the coldness that I had always remembered being there.

"Hello Father." I said respectably after all it was my father. He looked at me and sneered.

"What are you here for, boy?" That day was a really bad day for being called boy. I felt my patience grow very thin. I smirked at him. I would show him just how much I had learnt in the past few hours.

"Why 'father,'" I put as much spite into his names as I could. "Don't you know that I quit school?" His eyes opened wide. I had never before seen surprise in my father's eyes but that was not going to stop me. I had many more surprises in store. "Actually I think Dumbledore is a little upset with me along with mother. I kind of tricked them. They thought they could keep me locked in a cage but well I am a little smarted then the average kid. I am, after all, a Malfoy. As for why I am here. I came to see you, dear 'old' father. I came to see if you needed any help escaping. See Lawrence here was nice enough to help me so I rewarded his generosity with his freedom." I watched as my words had the desired affect on my father. He was growing angrier by the second. I was letting my instincts guide me and so far it was going wonderfully.

"Why, dear 'boy', do you think I need help. I am; after all, better off in all areas of experience." His voice was soft and dangerous. I loved it.

"Well father, that's not quite true anymore. You see my powers have grown a bit. If you really do want to stay and wait for your master though I suppose I could just stay with you. At least until he comes." With that sentence I had just said that everything he believed in was pointless and that he had made a bad decision. I knew he was going to blow any second and I was thriving on it.

His eyes got very small. I had only seen him angry like this once before and that was when He- Who- Should- not -Be-Named told my father that he thought he was a spy. No Malfoy would stoop as low as spying. "Why you! Draco you have stepped over a line. You have never been a good son. I put up with you because I had hoped one day you would amount to something. Even now you have disobeyed my orders. I told you, you were to stay in school and learn everything they taught so that you could have a good life. What have you done? NOTHING. I have no son. You were never a worthy Malfoy anyway."

I had not expected him to react like that. As I listened to what he was saying I grew angry. I had done everything I could to make him proud. I had even come to get him out and he still did not care. Well I was going to show him. I stood tall and I looked at him in his.

"So, that is what you think. Well, father, let me tell you something. The reason mother and Dumbledore wanted me to stay in a cage was because of this..." I released my power. I felt my front teeth grow in. I felt everything become clearer. In this state of mind, I found it hard to think straight. I remembered what Snape had said about being hungry all the time. I looked for a likely food source and my eyes came to rest on Lawrence. I threw myself at him and ate to my hearts content, no pun intended. When I began to fell the life slip out of his body I let my teeth retract. I realized what I had done. This time I felt myself gag but I could not let my father see weakness. Not now.

I turned to face my father. I saw the revulsion in his eyes. I saw the fear. He quickly recovered. "Maybe you are meant to be a Malfoy after all." Was all he said. With that I knew that I had been forgiven. I let myself smirk, for a Malfoy would never smile. On the outside I was calm and clear headed but what I really wanted to do was strangle my father. I hated him but he was what I had to use to get to Voldemort, for with Voldemort came true power.

I blew open the door to my father's cell and he climbed out. We walked out of Azkaban together. No Dementors followed and I wondered vaguely if I had scared them.

"Where are we going?" I asked. Father looked surprised.

"Why home of course. Your mother will be anxious to see you." He replied.

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Well that's it for right now. I hope you are enjoying it. Please review! 


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